Wow, was it the weekend of virtue-less acting out, or what?! I assume Serenity will take up Taylor’s defense soon, so I’ll leave Kanye’s lashing to her. I enjoy a strong illustration when it comes to the value of living a virtuous life, though, and Serena Williams’ temper fit this weekend was a perfect counterpoint.  I was still debating whether to bring up the affair at all, despite the fact that her actions during the U.S. Open tennis match were a textbook example of living without virtue, until I read this:

On the first of two “View” appearances, [Kate] Gosselin sympathized with tennis star Serena Williams’ outburst at the U.S. Open tennis tournament over the weekend.

“When you’re in the public eye, you’re held to a higher standard, but you do melt down because you’re human,” Gosselin said, acknowledging a lesson she’s learned as her marriage of 10 years has come to a very public end.

And then I couldn’t resist any longer. Say again? Held to a “higher standard”? Are you implying, Ms. Gosselin, that little ol’ me with no reality show would have been perfectly justified in yelling obscenities at a line judge? Since I’m not in the public eye, I could get away with that?

Ridiculous. What Kate Gosselin, and all of us, has to realize is that our character will define us whether we are in the spotlight or not. As Jesus warned, “It’s who you are, not what you say and do, that counts. Your true being brims over into true words and deeds.” (Luke 6:45 in The Message). In other words, what you are on the inside is going to show on the outside. And it isn’t always pretty.

Ever been surprised at your own ugly reaction? Marveled at the way you attacked someone you loved? Of course. We all have these issues. But we have hope for transformation. We aren’t doomed to lives of regret. We can be known by our good character, our virtue. The key is in practicing. As we fill our hearts and souls with good things, we fill a well from which good things can flow.

It is out of our abundance that our mouths speak.

Better make sure that abundance isn’t going to wreck your reputation or cost you a Grand Slam title!

I have a brave new haircut. I don’t necessarily love it, but it works well for me right now. I keep begging hair people, “Isn’t there a way for me to like my hair but NOT spend the rest of my life with a flat iron in my hand?” No one has really answered that yet. Still, I’m enjoying the change. Thinking of all the time I’m saving is pretty sweet, too. With the extra time I’d like to think I’d spend more doing stuff like this:

Besides, my vanity could use a kick in the pants once in awhile! : )

Simplicity is a virtue that I’ve never worked on much, but I’ve done just a few things lately to cultivate it. The hair, for one thing. I also bought one gray suit and I plan to wear it every Monday for the entire semester. I wear gray pants on Tuesday and Wednesday and a gray/brown skirt on Thursday. Friday I look forward to casual pants since I don’t teach and only have office hours. I’ve only done this for two weeks, but it amazing how much easier the morning is when you have a plan for what to wear!

I’ve simplified meal planning as well. We eat, like, 6 evening meals consistently with a few nights of sandwiches or salads. For now I’m not wasting any time looking for new recipes or trying out new items at the store. I just buy the same list of staples and we eat the same things every week. Ideally, it will help us cut a few calories and a few dollars in impulse buying. We’ll see.

Just things I’m trying in an attempt to simplify. Any ideas from your life you’d be willing to share? How do you simplify?

I’ve been thinking that I need a splashy new masthead here. I’m picturing something a little retro (aqua blue is in my head) with sparkle symbols around the words: RARE ROCKS – Felicity’s Blog for Intentional Spiritual Formation (Guaranteed Gem Quality!). Now all I need is a graphic/web designer who works pro bono for a good cause – mine! : )

As I’m dreaming up this new blog layout, I imagined two images flanking the title: on one side a rough-edged rock and on the other a shiny polished stone. In aqua? Something like the round guy in the middle of this:

Sweet, right? I know. Don’t you want to just reach out and roll those around in your hands. So soothing and meditative. Well, after I looked at polished stones on Flikr for awhile (thanks scorpocat!), I remembered how much I used to want a rock tumbler for Christmas! I used to look at them every year in Grandma’s JCPenny Wish Book and think, that would be AWESOME!

Alas, it was never meant to be, but, clearly, something about it stuck with me. What is it about rocks!?

So, of course, I did a little research on rock tumblers last night and, oh the joy, it was everything I had hoped. Rock tumbling is just another perfect analogy for spiritual formation. You want to know what you need to turn regular rocks into polished beauties?

First you need the right kind of rock, good material. Then you need grit. That’s right, grit. Add water and tumble all of that together for awhile. Like, a long time, weeks even. Imagine this is you and the grit of everyday life rolling around in the water of God’s Word:

Not the most comfortable sight or sound, huh? Seems about right for spiritual formation - it seems to take forever and it isn’t glamorous at all. Watching that video, it looks a little boring even.

After the rough grit round you’ll have another round with a finer grit. Again – weeks. After each round the stones have to be washed thoroughly to remove any leftover grit. In the final polishing round even a small spec of grit could end up leaving all kinds of scratches on your stones.

So rock tumbling is NOT for the faint of heart, or the impatient, which probably explains why I never got one! But, for the brave soul willing to move through each step with vigilance and care, rock tumbling produces some beautiful RARE ROCKS!

Did you read all the great Seven Word Wisdom comments for graduates below? Here’s a funny thing, so many of you wrote something about “dreams” or another form of destiny chasing. Do you actually do this or is that just something we say to other people? (This is the question I’m asking myself a lot lately.)

I recently earned a copy of Donald Miller’s short DVD “Let Story Guide You.” I cannot emphasize enough how much I enjoyed this teaching session. First of all, I kind of heart Donald Miller, but, its OK because so does my husband. : ) Secondly, the ideas contained in his message about the power of story are life-changing. You can see a short clip if you click on the link.

I’ve been hearing bits and pieces of this material for awhile. In fact, I’ve kind of been nervous to listen to the entire message because I knew one of the catch phrases: “What if your life was a movie – would anyone want to watch it?” I had to be honest – I’m not sure!

Don (Can I call you that? I mean “Miller” alone sounds so high-school sports team-ish and “Donald Miller” sounds so formal. You really don’t strike me as a formal guy.) distills the elements of story into these required elements: 1) a likable but not perfect lead character, 2) a worthy goal or objective, 3) some conflict, and 4) an acceptable resolution. The sticking place for me is the “worthy goal or objective” and being brave enough to chase it.

The most powerful part of Miller’s message (high five!) is the fact that an acceptable resolution doesn’t have to be a fiary tale ending – everything doesn’t have to work out perfectly. The power of story is in its telling. For us, in its living out. Don uses the fact that narrative is the most common literary form in the Bible as his illustration, but each story doesn’t end with a 3-point sermon. Instead, we learn about living a life with God by reading the stories of others who have already lived their story.

So I wonder what you think. In the DVD Miller mentions a friend who started Blood:Water Mission. When Miller himself was first gaining the revelation of this idea of story, he spent several days alone seeking God for what his “worthy mission or goal” should be and decided on The Mentoring Project, an organization addressing the fatherless crisis in America.

These are awesome goals, but I wonder if there are other ways to live your story effectively. Ways that don’t require founding a non-profit organization? What other kinds of worthy goals or missions (don’t forget – the ones that require a good amount of conflict are the best from a storyteller’s perspective) do you think would qualify? If someone produced the movie of your life, what goal or accomplishment would you be pursuing?

. . . talk amongst yourselves while I finish up some things? Thanks!

Just kidding. I thought I’d post this super short video that Ada recorded of herself instead of leaving you unattended. She made this video on the same night that a mysterious tweet from my Twitter account was sent to my friend, writer May Vanderbilt:

@mayvanderbilt jghggh6bfvfh5vhdbdnvfbnczbnv    c cdbcnvvffhgdv n

Ada is the child of mine that most intrigues me. (I hope she appreciates this description someday; I totally say that as a  compliment to her!) What I mean is, I don’t have her totally figured out. She surprises me the most. And I love that about her. In this clip she is saying a million and one things with her face, even in just a few seconds. In the comments section you could  write a caption for what is going on in that pretty head. She’s a piece of work, I tell ya. Or maybe just watch a few times and smile.

Ada from Felicity White on Vimeo.

Try taking each one of the Ten Commandments and framing them as something to do instead of something not to do. Only two of the commandments do not use the word NOT anyway, the one about honoring the Sabbath and the one about honoring your parents. Refresh your memory on the other commandments here.

For example: “You shall not commit adultery.” What would be the DO of this commandment? If we aren’t supposed to commit adultery than what are we supposed to do? Love our spouse? Keep ourselves sexually pure? Interesting, huh? It kind of raises the stakes a little.

I think this might be part of what Jesus was doing when he said he came to fulfill the Law not abolish it. Remember, he summed up all these commandments by telling us to 1) love God and 2) love our neighbor. Do’s. Unfortunately, a lot of us think being a good Christian is more about what don’t do than about what we do. The reality is that just not murdering really isn’t enough anymore. Now Jesus expects us to love each other – even our enemies!

So what do we have to DO? Look at that list and make a new one. What will you DO today?

A friend of mine is putting together a fashion show for the teenage girls she works with this week. She is using this Scripture from The Message as her theme and I think it is great spiritual food for thought today. Unpacking this passage in this translation could keep me busy for weeks! I love the Bible.

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.