What Does Your Well Speak?
Wow, was it the weekend of virtue-less acting out, or what?! I assume Serenity will take up Taylor’s defense soon, so I’ll leave Kanye’s lashing to her. I enjoy a strong illustration when it comes to the value of living a virtuous life, though, and Serena Williams’ temper fit this weekend was a perfect counterpoint. I was still debating whether to bring up the affair at all, despite the fact that her actions during the U.S. Open tennis match were a textbook example of living without virtue, until I read this:
On the first of two “View” appearances, [Kate] Gosselin sympathized with tennis star Serena Williams’ outburst at the U.S. Open tennis tournament over the weekend.
“When you’re in the public eye, you’re held to a higher standard, but you do melt down because you’re human,” Gosselin said, acknowledging a lesson she’s learned as her marriage of 10 years has come to a very public end.
And then I couldn’t resist any longer. Say again? Held to a “higher standard”? Are you implying, Ms. Gosselin, that little ol’ me with no reality show would have been perfectly justified in yelling obscenities at a line judge? Since I’m not in the public eye, I could get away with that?
Ridiculous. What Kate Gosselin, and all of us, has to realize is that our character will define us whether we are in the spotlight or not. As Jesus warned, “It’s who you are, not what you say and do, that counts. Your true being brims over into true words and deeds.” (Luke 6:45 in The Message). In other words, what you are on the inside is going to show on the outside. And it isn’t always pretty.
Ever been surprised at your own ugly reaction? Marveled at the way you attacked someone you loved? Of course. We all have these issues. But we have hope for transformation. We aren’t doomed to lives of regret. We can be known by our good character, our virtue. The key is in practicing. As we fill our hearts and souls with good things, we fill a well from which good things can flow.
It is out of our abundance that our mouths speak.
Better make sure that abundance isn’t going to wreck your reputation or cost you a Grand Slam title!
Too true.
Oh yea, this has been a week when I would have liked to see some major time-outs for fame and money. “We’re sorry. You can no longer BE known around the world. We don’t want that kind of behavior rewarded.”
And Kanye’s apology? It’s like he had all these defenses in his head and couldn’t figure out how to get the apology out through them. Jay asks, When did you know you’d messed up? and he said, “About the time I handed the mic back to her and she didn’t continue.” That’s because, Kanye, YOU BROKE HER HEART.
Also, I love this concept. We’re all held by the same standard. Character is who you are when only God is watching. (That’s a mug I got once.)
Public eye or not, we are all held to the same standards. I think Ms. Gosselin is confusing “higher standards” with “more people witnessing your missteps.”
We may not always be on our best behavior, but let us consider this: the immediate punishments imposed by society are often more in favor of those in the public eye than those of us that are not. How many celebrity stories have you heard where the offender was allowed to “slide?” Serena got away with a piddly slap on her wrist after her outburst. What’s a measly ten grand to her bank account (in addition to the standard point penalty that cost her the title)? And Chris Brown’s sentence after pleading guilty to abusing Rihanna…his sentence was a joke.
We must hold ourselves accountable for our own mistakes regardless of whether we’re in the public eye or not. Isn’t that a sign of someone who tries to lead a virtuous life?
So true. The pastor at Grandad’s funeral quoted The Purpose Driven Life and he talked about how God cares more about the person we are instead of the things we accomplish or that neverending list of things we do…that is why we are human beings instead of human doings!
This is a great post. (I came via Serenity’s blog.) Our characters ultimately define us. And I was also waiting for Serenity to post on the Taylor/Kanye situation:)
I think Ms. Gosselin is confusing “higher standards” with “more people witnessing your missteps.”
Julia, so true! Love this post Felic. I heartily agree that we should be filling our well with godly things and living right no matter how many people are watching, but I, for one, am glad that when I DO mess up it isn’t splashed across the “front page” for millions to read about. Can you imagine?
Great points, All! And I do realize Kate’s confusion, but I think her language also implies the deeper problem. I definitely wouldn’t want to be in her shoes in any way! And, as Seren points out in her blog today, living a life above reproach does make one much less susceptible to even needing to make apologies. That would be another benefit.
So nice to have so many of you respond and make comments!
I read your post yesterday, then today at breakfast we were reading with the kids, and this was in our daily scripture reading (totally unplanned): “Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” (Prov 4:23)
We need to guard what’s flowing into our heart, because eventually it WILL flow back out, whether it’s good or bad. Paul asked the girls what they would think if they went to the kitchen sink to get a glass of water, and the water that came out, had not been through a purification process. (He used the words “raw sewage.” Yuck!!!)
It made for a really interesting family discussion, at the table.
I’m not a fan of Kanye West or the things he has done. I was horrified when I saw what he did to Taylor Swift and thought he was a complete jerk. But when I saw his apology… call me a sucker, but I thought it was very sincere. He seems like a very lost young man that hasn’t figured out where to turn. He knows there is stuff inside of him that shouldn’t be there, but he doesn’t know what to do with it. As mad as I was the day before, I felt nothing but compassion for him after his apology.
And I have to confess, I have moments I feel pretty virtue-less myself, wondering if I’m ever going to be the person I really want to be.
You know what struck me about all the outbursts this weekend. They exposed themselves. No one exposed them.
The Message Bible! It says things so simply and I like that. Good post!
awesome post Felic, I couldnt believe all these things that happened while I was across the pond. I said to myself, have we all lost our couth? good grief charlie brown, I mean really.
=)
Who hasn’t lost themselves in the moment? It is easy to judge those in the spotlight, when us ourselves are many times the same in the quiet of our own home.
We have all made mistakes, but without the fame and the publicity one who is famous automatically entails, we are not always brought to “trial”.
It is not our battle to fight, it is not our place or right to judge.
@ E.S. – I have to respectfully disagree. Not because I believe it is our right to judge someone’s motives or eternal future (celebrity or not – we are all just people), but because I believe we all DO judge, consciously or unconsciously, as far as that person’s actions are something we want to emulate or disdain. Even if we don’t say this out loud (or write it on one’s blog, which may or may not have been the best choice), we make these judgments. And, most of all, I believe all of us (celebrity or not) have a hope for a better future, one where we are not trapped and smothered by our own selfishness or poor decision making. I think we can all do better, but it won’t happen unless we consciously make decisions to be better.
I also absolutely AGREE with you that many of us have the same problematic behaviors in the privacy of our own homes. I contend, however, that this is also not acceptable. And we can be free of that as well. We don’t have be slaves to our tempers or our selfishness. We can learn to overcome those issues in the privacy of our own home as well. Celebrity or not.