My Jonas Brother

I just came from chapel where Dan and I lead worship for the elementary students at our childrens’ school. Sometimes it is the best 30 minutes of my week! Lately, my son Jesse has been helping me lead the singing. He has a lot of musical talent and natural charisma. I love these traits … and they scare me to death.

As a parent, how do I steward this gift? I want all the world to see my son’s abilities. Wouldn’t it be great for him to be a shining light to ‘tweens everywhere about how awesome it is to live right, to love God and to love your family. Then I remember seeing the Jonas brothers on Oprah and I think, maybe I don’t want that.

We are Jonas Brothers fans at our house for the most part, but there was something inconsistent about the influences in their lives that I noticed on that day. During the interview portion of the show, the parents went on and on about how they want to raise men of strong character. But then they allowed their young teenage sons to stand on a stage singing love songs to hundreds of screaming teenage girls. Where is the consistency in that? I think it is a lot to expect a teenage guy to maintain control of his hormones when the girls are just walking past him in the hallways – why would we think they are going to handle this kind of exposure well?

As a parent then, I wonder, what is my responsibility? I would never tell Jesse he is only allowed to sing at church and anything else is out of the question. I want the best for him. I want him to be faithful with his gifts, sharing them with the world if that time comes. But I also don’t want to set him up to fail, send him out to a world who cares more about his marketability than his soul.

Parenting adds a whole new dimension to the Rare Rocks analogy. Now not only am I thinking about the sacred formation of my own life, but I’m also concerned about the same things for my children!

8 thoughts on “My Jonas Brother

  1. I remember Joe Tosini preaching one time about the danger of “stage mothers in the spirit.” I knew he had pegged a tendency in me. It is so easy to push our children into the things we know God has for them or to try and promote them ourselves instead of letting the Holy Spirit do it. There is a fine line between that and offering them every opportunity to be trained and to flow in their gifts and callings. And, of course, every mother has the right and obligation to remind her children they can be anything God wants them to be. Even a gospel singing quarter back who plays the keytar:)

  2. Great reality check…there was an interview with a guy on this subject on NBC this morning. It is basically talking about what your mom just mentioned. I get caught up with that with Noah sometimes. I think for me it is a tendency to want others to see me as “the mother of all mother’s” And I want everyone to see him as this perfect amazing little boy. Oh Lord help me! He does (humble me)…especially when he comes up to me and says “I poop my pants, mommy” at Wednesday night church. Ahh…what aspirations I have for you, Noah!

  3. Really, I think we want everyone else to see our children in the same light that we see them.

    But inevitably, when we are in a crowd, my brilliant middle child gets shy, my cheerful baby gets fussy, and my beautiful daughter has a bugger hanging out of her nose!

  4. Jesse’s grandpa, my husband, Don preaches the concept of not living vicariously through our children. He often sites himself as the primary example of needing his own message.

    I know he’s not alone, and find myself just as guilty. It can subtly sneak in and will always be something we need to guard.

    Stewarding is the right word when it comes to raising children! You’re doing a great job! The best thing is – you only have to steward one day at a time!

  5. Your son is beautiful. And how wonderful that he wants to lead in that way!

    I know exactly what you’re writing about. Todd and I are constantly checking ourselves when it comes to this kind of thing with our kids. It’s so easy to get all wrapped up in a mix of happiness and pride for their God given talents and let the lines blur.

    Felicity, I always enjoy your comments over at Anne and May’s! And I’m so glad you’re joining the blog party!
    Becky

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